Down with Pumpkins

I’m not trying to slight Mother Nature, Demeter, Jesus, Farmer Whatshisbutt, nor or am I trying to piss on Autumn in all its glory.

HOWEVER.

I am SICK of all the effing pumpkins. Yeah facebook newsfeed – you heard me. I’ve had enough of the…

-babies-in-a-sea-of-orange-vegetation pictures

-oh-we’re-so-in-love-so-we’re-gonna-kiss-in-the-leaves-and-pumpkins pictures

-look-what-I-wasted-precious-hours-carving-and-compliment-me-damnit pictures

-we’re-playing-with-sick-pumpkin-innards-and-baking-seeds (makemewannavomit) pictures

If I log in to see one more hayride, I’m going to lose my hayshit. Maybe I just need to boycott FB for the season. I don’t know, that’s kind of rash. I actually love Fall. Fall and I get along great when it comes to college football games and tailgates, warm earth tone clothes, riding boots, and cozy sweaters and fleece. Fall and I get jacked up about chili, hot tea, and the promise of Thanksgiving break. Fall and I actually go balls to the wall for apple-picking, chocolate caramel apples, and Halloween costumes.

But WHY in all that is holy must pumpkins haunt me in every waking moment of my life? Everywhere I look I SEE pumpkins. Everywhere I go I SMELL pumpkins. Pumpkin rolls, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin donuts, pumpkin ice cream. Nothing is sacred anymore. My senses are being bombarded and bitch slapped into pumpkin tolerance.

Well I ain’t havin’ it. I will not be pushed around by a bunch of big orange stinky balls. In fact, I think I will start a revolution and make gourds the next big thing. You just wait. By this time next year, your kid will be dressed as a gourd, drinking gourd juice, singing a gourd song, and smelling like gourd perfume endorsed by the Greater Gourd Group of America advertised on your portable electronic gourd-vision device that you’ve affectionately named “Gourdo” after your dead fish, Gourdo Goldfish the Great.

How do you like that Jerry McGuire?

Stick that in your pumpkin and carve it.

ReGourds,

Fic D (the “D” stands for “death to pumpkins”)

Dream Wedding

Ever since J and I met at Notre Dame and knew it was serious, we have wanted to get married here:

And I would walk down THIS aisle:

We always hoped that this wonderful priest/Dillon Hall rector would marry us:

And that the sound of a few of these guys would fill the air:

And that we’d love to have our reception on campus. Specifically, inside here:

And thanks to my wonderful fiance, all of that is a reality. Hair appointments and hotels are booked, my dress has been purchased, and bridesmaid dresses are in the works. Planning is coming along swimmingly, and I’m so freakin’ excited

 

Whoopsies? ;-)

Ignore the obvious here. Pretend I just apologized profusely for my extended absence so that we can get down to business.

So, here’s what you’ve missed on GLEE, eh hem…I mean, FIC D.

Oh, you know, nothing too exciting…I just started a new school year, met my 150 new adolescent bffs, may or may not have accidentally mentioned something about balls dropping in class, dealt with pom moms that would give the cast of Dance Moms a run for their money, sat in a bagillion meetings, got suckered into 5 committees, and went to Charleston for the first time and GOT ENGAGED. No big deal.

Ok, girl talk…

So the bf  fiance is originally from South Carolina, but not the fun part that sees ocean and stuff. I had been going there for 5 years and still wasn’t convinced that it was a coastal state. So he suggests a weekend trip to see his parents and possibly go to a Clemson game, and then throws out the possibility of doing a day trip to Charleston. So we fly down to Greenville, drive to Charleston, spend the day walking around, eating, and shopping, and then get ready for a nice dinner at Carolina’s. Afterward we go for a walk along the battery, stop just in front of a pretty gazebo, and he asks me to marry him Sigh.

Mad props to him for knowing that I despise corny romantic gestures like spelling things in candles or rose petals, going on scavenger hunts, or having to find my ring in my risotto. Also, mad props to him for already having half the wedding planned for me! You see, we always talked about getting married at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on Notre Dame’s campus (We met at ND.). You have to book it out way in advance, which he did…a LONG time ago. So he had our wedding date picked out, the rehearsal booked, the church and priest booked, TWO reception venues on hold for me to choose from, and a block of hotel rooms reserved. WHAT. A. GUY.

He has been so awesome and involved in the planning, and we are so excited for our South Bend wedding next July! I’m so excited I can barely focus at school.

Today we started the prologue of Romeo & Juliet. There is a line that says “From forth the fatal loins of these two foes/ a pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life”. As I am turned around I hear a student ask, “Ms. M, are these your loins?”

Let’s just say had I not been in wedding la la land, I would have known NOT to turn around…

 

Champagne toast and jelly,

Soon-to-be Mrs. Fic D